I'll admit this upfront; I've had a lot of 'emotional turmoil' over the past 4-5 years. Probably much more than can be accredited to teen-angst. I wont delve into the specifics just yet, but let's just say that a lot of diagnostic terms have been thrown around. My therapist has discharged me, but I still struggle from time to time, which is to be expected. However, I'd like to get to the root of my problems and you lucky folks are going to be witness to a miraculous recovery!
As I mentioned before I am a physics major, and an aspiring scientist. As any scientist will tell you, in order to conduct an experiment, there needs to be a control group, variables, data needs to be recorded, research, hypotheses, and above all the scientist must be objective and unbiased. I have this crazy idea that if I look at my mind like it's a lab experiment, using the scientific method I just might find relief from myself; if not for good, then I may learn how to control it. After all, one can't be a mechanic without understanding the parts of a vehicle and how they work together; similarly, I must understand my mind, before I can expect to see any progress.
The very first psychology lab was created in Germany in the late 19th century. It was started by a man named Wilhelm Wundt; and Wundt believed that understanding the mind was all about objective introspection. His entire theory centered around structuralism (boiling things down to basic structures), and the mind consisting of basic elements: experience, thought, and emotion. Now there have been a million other psychologists that would disagree with this theory, but for my particular circumstance, I think this premise will do just fine.
For the purpose of these experiments, I will be using this blog to document my 'data'. I'll let you know what works and what doesn't, but for now I need to get some sleep, and brainstorm my next step!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
A pilot project.
You may be wondering why I named the first entry of my blog Pilot...
It's something silly that I wouldn't ordinarily tell someone about myself, but I've always, even as a child, thought of my every action as a scene from my E! Hollywood True Story; or perhaps my biographer some day will want some insight about my daily life. Melodramatic? Absolutely. Entirely unique? I'm not so sure about that. I'll let you in on all my thoughts, hopes and dreams about becoming someone spectacular in another post though.
However, there's another reason I named it that. If you were to look up the word pilot in the dictionary you'd find quite a few definitions. The one that relates to my blog is about 8 or 9 definitions in.
Go ahead. I'll wait.
It should define a pilot as a trial operation, or a trial undertaking prior to a full scale operation; which is exactly what this blog is. I've wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. To answer your question: No, my major has nothing to do with that particular dream of mine. As any guidance counselor or involved parent will tell you, when picking a career, ideally you want one that will land you a job where ever you go; a job that is secure, always in need, and hopefully has good benefits. [Oh, and enjoyment. That too.] So that's as far as my dream has taken me... I pursue another career that I enjoy and hopefully am stricken with incredible dumb luck, and land a writing gig as well. I digress though.
This blog is an experiment. I'm testing if this is really something I could enjoy, and if others find my mind as strangely wonderful as I do. [Humility is just another quality I offer you.]
On a completely unrelated note, I love Friday fish-frys;
Oh and I'm a physics major. ;)
It's something silly that I wouldn't ordinarily tell someone about myself, but I've always, even as a child, thought of my every action as a scene from my E! Hollywood True Story; or perhaps my biographer some day will want some insight about my daily life. Melodramatic? Absolutely. Entirely unique? I'm not so sure about that. I'll let you in on all my thoughts, hopes and dreams about becoming someone spectacular in another post though.
However, there's another reason I named it that. If you were to look up the word pilot in the dictionary you'd find quite a few definitions. The one that relates to my blog is about 8 or 9 definitions in.
Go ahead. I'll wait.
It should define a pilot as a trial operation, or a trial undertaking prior to a full scale operation; which is exactly what this blog is. I've wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. To answer your question: No, my major has nothing to do with that particular dream of mine. As any guidance counselor or involved parent will tell you, when picking a career, ideally you want one that will land you a job where ever you go; a job that is secure, always in need, and hopefully has good benefits. [Oh, and enjoyment. That too.] So that's as far as my dream has taken me... I pursue another career that I enjoy and hopefully am stricken with incredible dumb luck, and land a writing gig as well. I digress though.
This blog is an experiment. I'm testing if this is really something I could enjoy, and if others find my mind as strangely wonderful as I do. [Humility is just another quality I offer you.]
On a completely unrelated note, I love Friday fish-frys;
Oh and I'm a physics major. ;)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Pilot
I have a feeling this blog is going to be neglected from time to time, not unlike every other thing I start. However, I tend to do things in the moment, and in this moment I want to start a blog.
I'm starting this ejournal for two reasons; for starters, I've concluded that some of the things in my head are just too unique to keep to myself. Social convention dictates how much information about myself I divulge to a complete stranger, lest I be diagnosed, or stood up on the next date. The exception to this paradigm seems to be the internet, and I can see why. Which brings me to reason number two: nobody has ever waited for their blog to call them the day after you blurted out a detailed time-line of all your failed relationships, the names of your future children, and against your better judgment recalled what really happened that night you had waaay too much to drink.
I like that this will be here to listen to my crazy rants no matter how much of a loon I am. I'm not really sure where to go from here though, so I bid you all adieu until I have gathered my thoughts.
My brain is like a hobo, jumping from one train of thought to the next, taking it where ever it will lead me.
I'm starting this ejournal for two reasons; for starters, I've concluded that some of the things in my head are just too unique to keep to myself. Social convention dictates how much information about myself I divulge to a complete stranger, lest I be diagnosed, or stood up on the next date. The exception to this paradigm seems to be the internet, and I can see why. Which brings me to reason number two: nobody has ever waited for their blog to call them the day after you blurted out a detailed time-line of all your failed relationships, the names of your future children, and against your better judgment recalled what really happened that night you had waaay too much to drink.
I like that this will be here to listen to my crazy rants no matter how much of a loon I am. I'm not really sure where to go from here though, so I bid you all adieu until I have gathered my thoughts.
My brain is like a hobo, jumping from one train of thought to the next, taking it where ever it will lead me.
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